Today was one of those days where there are a million things that I need to do but I just can't get my mind to go there. Can anyone else relate? Y'all, my day literally started walking out the front door and a spider LANDING ON MY FACE. No joke... a spider landed on my face. Not a great way to start the day. Ha! I've talked a lot on here about giving yourself grace and I wanted to re-emphasive that today. I was pretty hard on myself when I woke up. I hated that I was in this fog and so badly wanted to feel productive but as I've been growing this new side of my life and business, I have been majorly overloading myself mentally every day. I want to be transparent and real with whoever is reading this because this has become a huge part of me and what I do and I never want to come across or let this blog come across as something it's not. Health, wellness, spreading the message of plant based/vegan eating, and how I feel that it all correlates back to treating our bodies like a temple and honoring God has become a huge passion of mine. I am so passionate about all of it and it can start to be a little exhausting for me after a while. Lately I wake up with a voice in my head asking me what I'm going to get done today, how I'm going to grow, what I'm going to post, what kind of class or webinar I'm going to listen to, when I'm going to exercise, oh yeah and don't forget that you're in school and you need to work on that! I believe that there is a healthy and productive way to kick yourself in gear and get moving toward your goals but I also believe that there are destructive ways of doing so that will leave you feeling burnt out so fast. I recently received a copy of a chapter in the mail from a book my aunt (& fellow maker) had been reading. Today I finally took the time to sit down and actually read it and oh my goodness. It amazes me how perfectly timed the Lord is. He knew that I needed it today and today is when I felt the need to finally pick it up and read it. The words that were shared in this chapter were beautiful, encouraging, strong, and inspiring. They felt like the author was hugging you and telling you "You have what it takes, you are enough, and the world needs you to honor the creativity inside of you." I'm crying as I type this because it's truly how I felt when reading it. It was like a breath of fresh air, like someone had just lifted 50 pounds off my shoulders and gave me permission to continue, permission to create, to be who I am, and to explore what the Lord has for me in this season. We shouldn't feel the need to ask for permission to be creative or ask for permission to follow a "crazy" dream but some of us just need that every once in a while. We need something or someone to show us, push us, and tell us it's ok. That is what this chapter did for me.
I took a break and went to bed before writing this next part so it's a new day but I woke up feeling so renewed and so much lighter than I was feeling before and thankfully, no spiders!! I am exploring and figuring out this new journey of being in school, continuing to run a small stationery & wedding design business AND following my new found passion of blogging. It's a lot but it always has been. I am not the kindof person who can just do one thing and I'm starting to realize that that is ok. I used to be so frustrated with myself that I couldn't just narrow it down but I'm convinced that I wasn't wired that way. Today I'm giving myself permission to continue, to follow my passions and work hard towards my goals but I'm also telling myself that it's time for the days when I let the numbers get me down and the to do list overwhelm me and the days when I let comparison steal my happiness to no longer be a pattern. Will we all have those days? Yes, absolutely but I want to be so rooted in how the Lord sees me and my business that it gets easier and easier every time to get out of those ruts and keep on going.
I can't remember where I was listening to this but a little while ago I heard someone taking about the fact that Jesus didn't start his ministry until he was around 30 years old and they were talking about what he was doing before then. The topic of him being a carpenter was brought up and we all know that Jesus was making quality goods and was probably so good at keeping his head down and focusing on what was in front of him instead of always looking around at everyone else's work. He did his work well. It got me thinking about my own work and the constant daily roller coaster of scrolling through social media and comparing numbers, photos, lifestyles, and wasting SO MUCH TIME wondering why I'm not where they are or able to do the things they are doing. I am currently getting so fired up about this because it recently just hit me so hard that our creativity is HOLY and so one of a kind. I am not where "they" are or doing what "they" are doing because I AM NOT THEM. They have their own beautiful journey and I have mine. The chapter I was referring to earlier talks about how important and precious and sacred creativity is. I believe we all have it in us. We were created to create. We were made in His image and just LOOK at all he has created. The world we live in may be messy but it's also intricate and beautiful and a true work of art. Recently I have felt like the Lord has been telling me to keep my head down and put my blinders on more. To focus on the gifts and opportunities that he has placed infront of ME and work hard & work well on them for Him and only Him. I hope this post encourages everyone who reads it and if you would like a copy of the chapter that was mailed to me, please let me know. It was such a blessing to me and I would love to be able to share that with all of you.
My new "mantra" if you will - "Do it well & to Him be the glory."
Hebrews 13:20-21 "Now may the God of peace who brought up from the dead our Lord Jesus - the great Shepherd of the sheep - through the blood of the everlasting covenant, equip you with everything good to do his will, working in us what is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen."
Romans 11:36 "For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever. Amen."
Thank you so much for reading!